Funky Monkey

Ahh….as the German course comes to a close. We finished Clueless which was atrocious and left school early cause the teacher was sick. Actually, Kasia left even earlier cause she was sick as well. Maybe they had something in common cause they do live with each other….till Friday. Me and Linda biked home together again as we had done the day before. I finally saw her house in relative to mine…we aren’t that far away. We planned on going to Erlangen. Two hours later Linda rang here and we went off to the bus stop. In Erlangen we looked at the sights and took pics. Alright so lets go in order. First thing on the bus was that I had to buy a ticket. That was like totally 1.40 which was a lot for a one way ticket. Once we got off I promptly went to the ticket machine. Once I found out what I wanted there came the problem of how to pay for it. The thing is that nothing is really labeled….not even in German. Apparently we are suppose to know what to do…I really cant imagine that everyone knows what to do. Since the credit card failed I stuck in a 10 too find lots of change and a ticketcard in the slot. Euros have 2 as the highest change….which is a lot really. I hate change filling into my pocket. Love those bills. Afterwards we went for a walk. It wasn’t totally aimless…we wanted German music and movies. Unfortunately those are two things Germans love to despise. Since we had the time we wandered first…especially to find another place for CDs and stuff. We didn’t find one….though there probably was one…I mean we eventually went to a pharmacy which had CDs and stuff underground…. Unless you know I doubt you would have known that it existed in the first place. On our search we came upon a 1 euro store….which has pulled me to believe that value wise the euro and the dollar are the exact same thing. This means that for Americans everything in Europe is more expensive. Its not always the case like some DVDs sell for 7.99 euros which in dollars is the same price we’d have it in the states, but much seems to point that the currency values are changing so much that they just treat 1€ = 1$. Anyways Linda bought some birthday cards….that were in German. We went on taking pictures of absolutely everything and got to the castle. I wanted to go in, but there were people in front of the door and they had flyers. Alright lets review what people with flyers hanging around in front of a door could mean:

1. They are just solicitation at a popular destination.
2. They are prostitutes who feel that disguising themselves as saleswomen makes them more attractive for the small percentage of men who fantasize about a population that the majority of the population hates.
3. They are drunk.
4. They have nothingelse better to do but stand outside some door they think is cool and handout flyers about another door that they think is just as cool and that all people must visit….upon where they would be well received by another group of kind ladies that found the door to be equally as amusing as the women who directed the people to this door in the first place, but also have recommendations of another just as attractive door all people must visit and promptly made flyers to the occasion pointing aimless folks to yet another dillusional door which of course would have its own lovely group of ladies….such would go on till someone finally figures out what is going on….or the more likely that the women get tired and go home.
5. The last and least probable situation is that this door is somewhat guarded be these women who protect the lovely insides from “the dirty proletariat” who could otherwise not afford the entry fee thanks to these lavish ladies’ husbands who ensure that every penny is pinched to ensure that their employees do not get a fair share for their work (a fee which of course goes to the local charity for the Outrageously Rich People Who Have Nothing to do But Spend Your Money on Lavish Golf Courses and Such That You May Never See or Touch Unless One Is Built on Top of Your Grave Thus Can Be Held Under Speculation).

As it turned out it was probably around answer choice E as their was a 5€ sign around the building and only big people seemed to be in it. Might I add that no one really seemed to be going in, in the first place…maybe the others were locked inside the castle as some sort of 5^th dimension trap to help feed some pompously rich aliens in dire need to eat some Human beings to save themselves from unlikely starvation. We decided to go around into the Castle Garden and maybe sneak in from the back door. Unfortunately, the back door was made of glass and they were watching us and like something out of a freak movie behind the glass door were another group of women with flyers….always patrolling. That didn’t matter of course we went off and took pics of the beautiful baroque fountain behind the castle and other historic things. We went to the Aroma Garden which really didn’t smell like much of anything. Afterwards we headed back to the only place I knew there were CDs…the pharmacy. After and hour in the pharmacy I ended up buying to Asterix DVDs and Linda bought a German music CD plus a “new” German movie about two blind people who fall in love. Afterwards we headed home. As I left Linda at the intersection cause our houses are on separate streets I bumped into my host dad. He was leaving to his ski club meeting and apparently my host mom already left. He told me to go to my school cause there is a YFU meeting that they can not make it to. Upon arrival at home my host brother left cause his fire brigade alarm went off or something. I was home alone again. Only problem was that I did not have the key to the garage. Since everyone was gone I had no keys to the garage at all. I emailed Linda that I needed a ride, but I got a reply way too late as I had already given up. I watched TV for a while…trying to figure out what was going on. My host sister arrived near 9-ish and that was about it.

July 13, 2005

Today went rather quickly. I feel like the last couple of weeks never existed and that I just arrived here over the weekend. Its sad. At least its only ½ way done. I cant believe I can say only with that. At school we had learnt about clothes. Something I have no interest in, but it always has that spin. We had a “fashion” show where all 6 of us dressed up in stuff that the others of us had. We had a pile of our stuff and Alice would take us in the hall and dress us up. We would come in looking like freaks and the others of us would laugh and giggle and come up with German words of what we were wearing and how it made us look. I was hot stuff you guys. I forgot my camera but Linda has pictures….I’ll get em from her so don’t worry you’ll see us all in our disgrace. The day went by real short. I had my usual Knnoper which is an AMAZING German Waffle Chocolate thingy. Anything chocolate here is AMAZING. Anything edible here is AMAZING! After school me Linda and her sister biked home. I need to play some Fussball here!!! Alone again at home, but its sticking onto me.

July 14, 2005

1 more day and that’s all that goes through my mind. In one more day school will be over! Then its just sit around during classes time….and then DRESDEN! Nothing much happened other than school and coming home. Friday would be the big day.

July 15, 2005

Friday! Or as the Germans phrase it….FREE DAY. After arriving at school we went to class ready to watch Asterix. We didn’t….but after much fuss we were watching Asterix and Cleopatra. Afterwards we went outside and had our picnic. All of us together for one last time….well at least at school. We had muffins…cake…other yummy pastry stuff…brownies. Afterwards we showed each other pictures of our cities that we come from. It was really cool and made lots of fun. Then we had a picture session and said our farewells. Truly a somber moment. Getting home I had a couple hours till we went off to the punk concert. I pretty much moped around….there really wasn’t much to do. Afterwards me, Laura, Anna, and her boyfriend were off to Erlangen. We biked to the city and went to the shopping center. There they got beer….I opted out for now. We searched for a place to drink, but the clouds were dark and it seemed like it would rain (as it always does). We went to the playground (yeah people drink and smoke at playgrounds…which by no surprise they did). There were others as well and a group of 3 guys and 1 girl heaved over a giant crate of beer which they happily gulped away in the grass. Anna’s BF being funny “strolled” in the most peculiar way towards them…he didn’t get far they already told him no from the distance. Later on one of the guys came over and gave him a beer….which he gave to me. I dunno…didn’t like it too much. Doesn’t taste too good in a bottle. As always the dark clouds meant rain…and it did rain *not as bad as it is right now [July 18]*, the rain was horrid and we RAN. We swished off into the distance in front of us was that group of 4 which entered an apartment…Anna’s BF called out to them to let us in….jokingly. It stopped raining and we ran again cause it started to rain again. At the end of it we were in cover where I finished my beer. When I was done we went in…inside was a restaurant which had the greatest Baguettes in the world….oh they were so good! The others had beer…I took nothing…I was starving I wanted my Baguette in peace. It had cheese and tomatoes. It was scrumptious. Oh well I’m done talking about my Baguette. It was a rather nice and small bar. It had nostalgic posters everywhere. What as really cool was that the restaurant was in the middle of large buildings…even with that it was squished in somehow. It was really small and the we ate “outside” which if you didn’t look up really looked outside the small bar. But when you looked up it was glass…probably added later. The glass roof was sorrta like our malls….really goofy like. The rain stopped and we went to the concert. It was in a really big building. When we entered we had to pay. I had to show ID…this was explained by Anna’s BF as I struggled to understand what the dude was saying. I showed him the only ID I always have….my Driver’s License. That’s when he spoke English with me. He stamped my hand and told me it was to show what I can and cannot do. Being 18 there’s nothing I can’t do. Less that 16 can’t have alcohol and have curfew. Between 16 and 17 curfew. And 18+ is knock yourself out. Now when I say concert I am not talking about Carnegie or Beethoven. I am talking about a big building with rooms where small bands play for you….usually anything but Beethoven and Orchestra….and in ENGLISH. So we went to a room where a band was playing punk/metal. These places are really different than what we have….or at least I think. There is a bar with alcohol for one and number two is that anyone is allowed there which includes kids. And oh there are lots of kids….and what losers they are. Not only that there are parents as well. This includes my host parents…though they came later. My host dad’s daughter was playing tonight. We were there for a while and afterwards we left and went to a beer garden and had some French fries. They were also a riveting experience. Then we finally walked back to center Erlangen and went home. We also happened to fall into the happy world of sleep….or at least I did…as my sister said we would be leaving at 10 tomorrow.

July 16, 2005

Saturday….the big day. First I woke up and joined for breakfast. I could only eat a croissant as one can see the awkward amount of food I ate yesterday. We left a few minutes before 10. My host dad would bike there….and there is very far. After a 1 to 1.30 drive we reached the farmhouse. Unfortunately I cannot tell exactly how long it took…but it took awhile. At the home we entered to see a really old home. Matter of fact it is 82 years old. Many eras can be seen through the house….as certain rooms were modernized during a certain decade. A old retro kitchen, a wooded 80s entertainment room, an antique family room with giant radio, turn table, and all….etc. The house was really hot so my host mom opened the window in the kitchen and a huge chunk of a beehive fell in. It was so creepy. The entire house was really creepy because of the bees….you could hear them humming….everywhere. Anyways so all of a sudden tons of bees were in the house. My host mom attacked them with a vac and sucked em all up. She took the bee hive and threw it away. It was creepy….I gotta say….bees everwhere. The siblings and I went two houses down to their aunt’s house to get spray. She had a cool dog named Charlie. Charlie tried to follow us to the farm house, but my host sister took him back. After the house was set we went to the side of the house to pick berries. The entire side of the house had berry plants. The back was the farm….which wasn’t much cause no one is taking care of it. We sat on stools and picked for hours. I am not a person who goes onto breaks so I didn’t. After all the berries were picked we were done. I went in and had some water. Came back and chilled in under a tree. The thing is that there was a lot of breeze…which actually made picking the berries somewhat cool. The breeze was strong and cool which clashed with the pounding heat from the sun. It was very pleasant. My host dad arrived on his bike. A little later so did my host brother. He brought a kite from his aunts house….I guess he biked there just to try it out….cause its literally two houses down. You can see it from there. We tried to fly it but it didn’t work. Lots of wind but it just didn’t want to work. After lunch their aunt came over again and we all walked Charlie. Now onto Frankonian Accents. People here don’t speak regular German, so different is their German that many Germans cannot communicate with them. Their aunt was “easy” to understand I guess as she asked me about Texas and what I liked about Germany. But some people we met along the way were total Frankonian. I actually like the accent better than regular German. The reason is that Frankonian is sweeter. Its like an accent of English….maybe Irish. They speak German up and down up and down….which gives it some real vibe. Charlie chased a cat. We were done and left to Dinkelsbühl the old medieval city. To be honest we went to drink to our heart’s content. The entire city is surrounded by a wall….completely intact….with buildings inside…completely intact….and really old breweries…as you guessed…completely intact. One building really caught my eye….in the middle of the colorful and cheery medieval Bavarian homes was a grey Roman building. And to my surprise was a Roman building. It was a small house somewhat the same size as the others but with a façade very Roman. It didn’t look Neoclassic…it looked very classic. It had roman relief and the overall Roman look. Upon the door stood the date 1266. This was a roman building. It didn’t quite make sense to me because the city seemed very Medieval and not Roman. But I guess it’s just that old. Its not like the Romans have no history there….they were having HUGE celebrations of the 30 Years War…you know the one where the HRE vs France and Sweden which made no sense cause France was catholic and was fighting for the protestant cause. Anyways it was somewhat late in the day so all the shops were closed. Near the roman house was Old Witch’s Brewery. The name was because the lady who founded well was a lady….who happened to be a widow and you know how men felt about that. It all translates oddly but works out. I had one glass of beer and a Jägermeister….the tonic of evil. Me and Dominik split it and we both took a shot. It tasted REALLY sweet but really weird at the same time. We had some Ice Cream I daringly tried Orange and Strawberry…I began to feel it wasn’t too much of an ice cream. We went to the Beer Tent/Carnival. It was a huge religious festival that was occurring around Europe…except in Germany people celebrate with a drink. And what a drink….the beer tent was filled with people on top of tabled singing and dancing on them. Beer was EVERYWHERE. Except in our hands cause there were too many people. By this time my host mom met many old friends (she grew up here). One took us out to a better place to drink away from the commotion. We drank at a beer garden right on the moat with the wall across from it. I was told that you can put 5 euros in a machine somewhere and the entire city lights up for an hour (it takes a hour to see it good). Electricity doesn’t come cheap so this was practical. I drank a glass and then it hit me. I don’t know how but when it hit me it hit me hard. Somewhere in the conversation nothing seemed to be right. By this time my host mom’s friend’s family came by. Her husband is the Police Chief of the city…which is really cool. Anyways this randomness was all part of when it hit me. I really had to go and went to the restroom….I saw a light and stumbled to it. Dominik chased after me and directed me to the restroom. When your drunk…peeing fells really reliefful….so reliefful that you realize you have just created a funny word such as reliefful. I came back and stumbled onto the bench. Everyone started cracking up. Their mission was done….I was drunk. They started talking and saying that I had a bit too much than I could handle. They told the others about the Jägermeister….haha. I need another one of those. Maybe in Dresden. We went home after I took some wonderful pictures of Dinkelsbühl lighted up….some kind fellow dropped in 5 euros. There were bugs all over the place…I slept like a drunken angel.

July 17, 2005 “We Apologize for the Inconvenience”

In the morning I woke up a tad early and had some breakfast and you know all the morning stuff. When we were all ready we left to town. We made it just in time for the Swedish attack on the city. We got a small souvenir. We were looking for a good place. We finally settled on a mildly inconvenient spot. But when the show was ready, a giant group of VIPs stood in front of the audience. We were like “hahahaha” cause we had better seats. Bangs started and the gate was being attacked. In came the Swede leader….unfortunetaly his horse slipped immediately after the gate opened. Everyone was in shock. He was in pain. Regardless he got up and boarded….as they say the show must go on. Lucky for him….like most of the town’s residents….were dressed in the old uniform. He had armor on. Tons of people were dressed in the old…it was real cool. They just like doing it. My family explained to me that over here the old ways are still intact as we saw people singing in dancing at a nearby bar old German songs something most kids elsewhere have not learned. Anyways…falling off your horse is bad luck. The Swedes came in after the front man got to his place. Their was a commentary between the city leaders and Swedish army which included loud yells of “Mushy” which was probably some sort of bet….cause Mushy is a really bad word to say….I will not say the meaning. As this shows they are very lax on this fest. Though a lot of tourists were there (double plus of Japanese) this reenactment is a festival for the city. People have a lot of traditions they have built on the surrender of their town. Traditions which benefit the town’s residents. You were so dangerously up-close to this reenactment that two of the Swede soldiers began goofing around leading one of em to almost fall onto the old lady in front of me…followed by the guy in the wooden cuff thing you put a prisoners head in who came up to us to give a blah. At the end of the performance people were allowed into a picture frenzy. Everyone stood in place and people ran around taking pictures. Unfortunately this is very dangerous cause there were a lot of horses…many with horseshoes. What happened was that some began slipping (old towns here still have brick roads) so there were police running about pushing people out of the way when horses began slipping on them while they were taking a picture. I happened to be one of those people. The Swede Army General’s horse began backing up onto me…when the police rushed me away from a horse falling on me. After going picture crazy we went to stand along for the parade. And what a long parade it was…..l-o-n-g. Apparently making kids do the dirty work is much more fun. Kids had to pull and carry things….many which were heavy. Impossibly heavy things were pulled by horses which were guided by kids. How this festival works is that the town audience has lots of trinkets and flowers which they give to relatives as they pass by. So all these people have trinkets and stuff hanging off of them….the little little little kids as well….which I must say was quite cute. People would go up to the little kids and give them candy thingies and they would just stare back in curiosity. So as big as this parade was it wasn’t all like “no crossing onto the street”. People are lax they want to have fun. Women would have a jug of beer which they gave to the parade people. Unlike America it’s okay to share germs. Everyone drinks from the same cup. My host dad gave me some Swedish bread to try….really good. It is a town specialty….cause no one else has such Swedish heritage I guess. It was time to go home. We went home packed out bags and went to Aunt’s house. We talked….she is a really sweet lady…I had some Ice Cream….thus coming onto the disaster. I just pointed out what I wanted. One looked like delicious chocolate. Knowing how wonderful chocolate here is I pointed for it. When I was eating the Ice Cream the chocolate one began tasting funny. It was good but had a strange after taste. I have been led to believe that it had alcohol. For afterwards in the car I got really sleepy. When I woke I had a killer headache. I went to bed after bringing in luggage. It was truly killer and really got to me. My host mom came in and asked if I could eat dinner. I told no….in agony…she gave me Aspirin and took everyone out of the house for dinner so I could loose the ache. I woke up at 3 AM…tossed and turned and finally got the final sleep I needed.

July 18, 2005

Today I went to school with Laura. I went to her classes and finally had my German school experience. Apparently on the same day 27 kids from a class in England had come over. Okay….this school is overcrowded. Yet more and more exchange students are arriving every day. We have 20 something kids from America….a couple who have been here for a year…us 6 from YFU…and others I’ve probably have yet to hear about and then the new 27 that have arrived. They of course got big fanfare….we 6 here longer than the Brits and Americans got nothing. Anyways I went to Bio, English, and Chem. English was cool…cause everyone was speaking English all because they know it so well….sortta. Chem 2 was not in the school. We walked with the teach for miles into Erlangen to the university Chem Building. We saw Wilson like experiments with Liquid Nitrogen and Dry Ice. It really hurt to get there….it was really far from the school. Afterwards we biked home…not as painful but painful anyways. Laura got a call from Linda’s host sis. They were inviting me to the swimming pool. Alright….one of the most stereotyped things about Europeans is there swimming etiquette. Yeah I’m talking about guys in thongs and Speedos. And to no surprise there were guys in thongs and Speedos. It was very scary. Me and Linda went into the pool, her host sis and her friend did some sun bathing. The water was COLD. I was freezing when we got in. Linda was complaining of the heat…which wasn’t bad. I guess this is where Alaska and Texas differentiate. The northernmost state vs the southernmost state. Linda could handle the freezing cool of the water (along with the Germans) while I could handle the burning rays of the sun. Linda said she was turning red…I dunno…I guess it was sortta red. I put on my shirt safe from burningness. I had a really good sandwich my host mommy packed for me. They have really weird bugs here….I have never seen such things in America. This random thought comes from the fact we were sitting in the grass….oh yeah and those Brits happened to be at the same pool at the same time as us. They had a giant mushroom that let out water from the top and they had one lifeguard….he was wearing white….you couldn’t even tell he was a lifeguard….great work. It was really cool. People drink and swim…fun. We biked back home. The house emptied, once one person came it all of a sudden filled up again. We had dinner.

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